The future hubs and I raced our asses right on over to Petsmart and bought a new tank. Huge shout out to the people of Petsmart for staying late so that we could get our new tank. 4 hours and one fish fight (Wes vs. a wiley clown loach) later we were back in business.
BUT (oh yes there is a but) even after emptying out the old tank we could not find the crack. Upon moving the filter to the new tank I realized the housing of the filter had a crack in it and was slowly leaking water. What does this mean you ask? It means that we may have needlessly spent way way too much money on buying a new tank, 4 hours of our night transferring gravel, plants, water and fish to a new tank when I could have just taped up the filter housing.
After that little discovery I poured us two very large glasses of wine, got into bed, and turned on Archer.
Two life lessons were learned/ cemented last night- 1) Examine the filter for leaks, not just the joints of the tank. 2) Pick a partner who makes you laugh, especially at 11:30pm while trying to move some large and aggressive fish from one tank to another. (I am sure there are more but I don't totally know how to write them down.)
So as of right now there is a 56 gallon fish tank with some water and gravel in it sitting in the middle of our kitchen. Anybody want it? I may end up going straight Office Space on that bad boy later this week.